Can't get enough

It's 00:30 and I'm sitting on my sofa with all these Morita Go feelings, thinking "What am I doing with my life?". Both real life and fangirl's life.
Everything seems to be just a shit except the fact that it's not really shit but it seems so for me.
I think I'm just depressed, for a long time already.

Shit.

I just want to collapse on my bed. And do nothing.
Today wasn't an awful day but for me it seems so. I know I'm just pms-ing, but anyway... I feel so exhausted, I want to cry, I want hugs, but also I want everyone to leave me alone. Or not everyone. I really don't know.
What a bad thing of being a woman.
I hate everything, but in thr first place I hate myself for being... myself. Sometimes I can't with my own behaviour. And I can't do anything with it :( Weak.
/cries in the corner, desperately hugging herself

Sorry for this post. I'm... just pms-ing. And tired.

I was going to write a lot but of course I'm too lazy LOL.

I don't like my English classes anymore :( They've changed a teacher for this semester. I liked the previous one T^T After the first lesson I thought that she was sooo nice. And I at least had an interest in going to the lessons.
Current teacher quite annoys me. When I just saw her I thought "Meh, I don't really like her :/". I thought maybe I would change my mind later but later she started to annoy me even more XD

Changing the topics.
FANGIRLING TIME
I knew Hamachan must have solo photoshoots in magazines because of his butai.
Today I woke up to THE BEST THING EVER Well, one of
LOOK. LOOK AT HIM.

BEST THING TO WAKE UP TO.
ADORABLE. I LOVE MY PRECIOUS MAN. I STILL CAN'T BREATHE (LOL)
It's like he gave me the reason to live hahaha XDDD
Jokes aside, I really love this photoshoot! And I love Hamachan SO FREAKING MUCH
Ugh...

Okay. With this new roung of ALL THE HAMACHAN FEELINGS I'm going to sleep. Good night (θヮθ)/

It's Friday already haha.

Yesterday I had English class. First lesson of this semester. Well, teacher is... normal. Quit good. I think I hope.
She said it's her tradition for students to write an essay on thr first lesson. Small essay for her to know us. Our theme was "The Person I admire the most". I wrote about Tsuyoshi of course, because I can't not admire this amazing person.
And also I don't know if I admire someone else or not XD

My groupmate said he wrote about Naruse Ryo. Yes, the main character from dorama Maou.
He watched this dorama and he likrd it a lot. I'm glad because I recommended it to him ^^
It's really weird to talk about doramas and johnnys with my groupmate...

Tomorrow we (me and Sacchan) are going to watch Deadpool *___* everyone says the movie is great, so I hope we will like it too.

And that's all for today, I need to get up from my bed XD

P.S Somehow I'm taking a rest from my the most favourite man because HE MAKES ME ANGRY don't know why XDDD maybe because I hate him XDD

Last week we had a cold weather (about -10°C and above). This week it's like spring has come \:D/
It's about 0/+4°. What the heck. I mean I like warm weather but since it's not normal for January... Ugh. The weather is crazy. It's raining now. Also with this warm there is quite strong wind. Also it's so wet outside. And slippery.
I don't like it.
Sigh.

And wow I've made a post hurray *gloomily throws confetti*

I want to sleeeep. But I forgot about this post yesterday so I think I need to write something today. In other case I will forget about this post again orz

Today I've done my last exam. So my first semester in the university is over. Five more to go.
But now two free weeks \(*3*)/ *collapses*
Honestly, I have no idea what to write. I want to sleep right now (it's 00:21) and I'm tired and all .___.
So I guess I will go to sleep then.

P.S I love Hama-chan. And Nozomu (I couldn't imagine I would love this kid so freaking much). And KotaHama.
And 4U
And lot moooore people D:

20th update yay *throws confetti*
Every time when I have to write a post I'm feeling down LOL
Yesterday me and my mom met her friend, today we spent time with my aunt an her son. It was fun but now I'm tired.
Hama-chan didn't update his blog today (only KiriJunta and all of the suddenNozomu updated today).
Well, that's all what I can say.
Lazy holidays. Don't want to prepare for my exams it won't help anyway LOL
I hope my cards for girls will come to them at least in February. Letter for me from my friend still hasn't came. Despite another girl who lives in my city got the letter.
what the heck.

Don't want to write anything else

I think I'll be like Ryusei who always updates late XD

Maybe I should leave it and write this post tomorrow? But well, tomorrow I will also forget XD

we have warm weather. It's not normal for our region. Usually (it was so) it's like -10°C for this period I think. And we have about +5/+8. I like warm weather but... It rains often and the wind is quite strong (not really strong, but about 4 and more m/s and it's cold .___.)

I wanted to write something but I forgot. Oops. Well, I think I will end here. Another pointless post LOL I always forget what I want to write when it comes to writing a post. And also I'm too lazy to write post and think how to say it in English and so on...
I'm tired. Can't English XD

P.S I didn't write anything about johnnys XD But I still love Hama-chan, hehe ♥

Hellllllooo :D
I almost forgot about this update oops as usual

Well, today is jwest album's release date! So I will talk about it.
First of all... As I thought we got jwest album faster than takkitsuba album despite takkitsuba album was released a week ago.
Oh, oh! Today is 2 years since I listened to takkitsuba songs for about 4 hours and I listened a lot to Takkitsuba Ondo soo... Today is 2 years of loving Takkitsuba a lot :D yaay
time flies ugh

Back to jwest album.
Hmmm don't know if I will be able to say something about every song but I will try to do it.

Lucky Specialreminds me (and not only me) of Mambo de West XD song is funny and good. But I don't really like chorus XD I mean it's okay but makes song sound not so good in general...
Seven PowersIt's amazing! They all are really singing in their styles! And OMG HAMA-CHAN!!! HIS VOICE UGH!!!! I literally made KYAAAA while listening to album yesterday. Two solo parts and both make me die.
Gatten Anthemis so light and bright and cute and catchy (well, all of the songs are catchy btw! XD). I really love this song, it's my favourite now! Not because Hama-chan likes this song tho XD despite his favourite from this album is Lovely Xmas LOL
Horumonit's... hilarious? Don't know. Just funny, really funny. And kind of chaotic XD
3.1415926535(if I'm not mistaken lol). It's a song about pi! Like look we can make rap that consists of numbers of pi!Funny song, but sounds kinda aggressive for me XD
Kimi e no melodyis soooo beautiful *______* I cried while listening to it LOL I'm too emotional XD and Hama-chan sings there "Let's kiss" with his wonderful voice ugh LET'S KISS, my love!!
Eternalsooo cool!! Can't say anything more about it. Just very cool ♥ and I don't like chorus tho. It sound not so good :(
Tamer (Junta solo) it's AMAZING!! I hoped his solo will be like that. It blows my mind, it makes me imagine amazing pictures in my head. Just... thanks for this song.
Lovely Xmas (KamiShige) It's cute and really Christmasy, but too sweet XD so I don't really like it.
Terrible (KotaRyu) guys YOU ARE SERIOUSLY TERRIBLE *screams* brilliant sexy song. And NOZOMU'S VOICE MAKES ME GO LIKE KYAAAAAAA OMG BABY I LOVE YOU *dies*
Also this song makes me think about kotahama-porn /coughs
Konna kyoku tsukurimashita (KiriHama) I thought it will be something different. But yeah, KamiShige are "cute", KotaRyu are "cool" and KiriHama are "funny".
And Junta is a tamer in this zoo
KiriHama are AWESOME IDIOTS. I laughed like crazy while listening to their song for the first time :D it's too chaotic, too weird... but so funny XD and Hama-chan's voice PERFECT
(もちろんたかひろぉぉぉ~ ♥)

I can't think and can't English anymore XD
I'm glad I like the whole album :D
And let me say it again: HAMA-CHAN'S VOICE!!!!!!
I don't like when he sings with high voice, it sounds awful for me XD so whe he sings with low voice I almost have goosebumps.
And all of the sudden Hama-chan sings strange in this album O__o couldn't recognise him in almost every song.

That's all for now~
Bye bye (θヮθ)ﾉｼ

I was going to write this post before going to the university but I was lazy shit. And now when I'm back home it's 23:14 and I'm exhausted orz
I don't want to change the day of my updates because it's already called "Wednesday update". And it's the day of WEST's jwebs sooo LET ME BE CLOSER TO MY FAVOURITE MAN
Despite Wednesday feels like the most difficult day in my university timetable ugh.

Anyway.
First of all, Taguchi. I was SHOCKED when I saw it in my TL... Japanese fans almost all went like Eh?
My friend screamed what? Then WHAT?! And then this news ran across the whole TL.
When I read the first tweets about it I literally cried. Not cried loud hysterically (XD) but I realised there are tears... I wonder what happened, I hope they will tell us.
Ugh... Few hours before Best Artists I listened to some KAT-TUN songs and I thought "oh I really got used to them as 4, they are doing their best. I thought they want be okay after Koki left but they are okay!". And then there is... orz
Maybe they weren't okay after all... And Taguchi is just done with JE and showbiz (as Nakamaru(?) said: Taguchi wanted to leave the entertainment world).
But about 3-4 hours I was very tired of all those tweets with crying and so on =___= I got angry, I'm always getting angry when there are lots of lpng lasting crying. Like STOP PLEASE stop complaining and crying. So I just kept (and still keep) telling myself that I would have the same reaction if it was my johnnys.
Honestly, I don't want to talk about it anymore.

I also was going to write about Tsubasa. Hmm..
Well, I will try to.
I have a list of my "official ichibans". Johnnys who are really ichibans.
(Because I have a lot favourite johnnys as well as VERY FAVOURITE  and some "almost ichiban" johnnys XD). I had 5 ichibans, but now I have 3. I understood that I don't like Iwamoto that much now O_o (not now, it was a few months ago but anyway). Another one whom I removed from this list is Tsuyoshi (Domoto). It's not like I stopped loving him (like I did with Iwamoto). I love Tsuyoshi so much! But.. I just don't want him to be in my list. I also like Koichi very much but he even wasn't in my list... I don't know how to explain it.
And back to the topic. Tsubasa.
It's kinda same thing as it was with Iwamoto. Tsubasa doesn't impress me now for I don't know what reason. I look at him and... don't feel what I felt before. And also I don't see him often.. :(
Tsu in his 20s (about 20, time around debut and younger, and some time after debut) makes me all KYAAAA OMG DOKI DOKI. Looooots of emotions. Because this PRETTY YOUNG BOY OMG AAHGSGSFSTAFAFSFSGSYDGYDDH *dead*. Maybe that's why he is still my ichiban lol
I just don't want to let him go out of "my official ichiban". I'm the person who doesn't like changes XD
With this thoughts I also think about removing Zaki-san from "list of ichibans". Then I would finally have one and only one ichiban
As Sacchan said: HAMADA WANTED YOU TWO TO BE ALONE MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
But once again, I don't want changes XD

This update is kinda long and weird XD

Hello~

I was going to complain A LOT but I was too lazy to write the post on my way to the university LOL
And now I calmed down a little bit. I still have all the problems but now I don't think about them. After today's small hysterics lol But it's important to cry sometimes (even of it's something like hysterics).
The most important problem now for me is studying. I won't drop it until I will be kicked out from the university. But srsly I understand like nothing. Only English (and not so good lol).
But what's more important and sad... I don't know what I want to do. I don't want to do anything (I mean studying and work) *sigh*
I'm such a lazy piece of shit :/
But anyway I don't want to talk and think about it again just because I want to have quite good mood.

Hama-chan's and Nonsuke's jwebs were just normal. Sad because I hoped they would make me happy XD

Almost forgot about it againoops

Nothing happens in my life so let's talk about fangirl things? Hmm.
Today I finally finished watching Tsuyoshi's dorama Platonic! Yesterday I suddenly found that translation was finished a month ago. I was waiting for this dorama almost for a year I think? Or something like that. Long.
Dorama is kinda boooring, yes, but it was kinda interesting and all what I did was looking at Tsuyoshi because HE'S SO BEAUTIFUL OMG AFAFAFSGSGASSADDSSAS /dies/.
I cried watching last episode XD

Then I forgot about jwest jwebs /facepalm/
And I cried again reading Hama-chan's update... XDD I love him so much tasukete kudasai.

I have nothing in my mind.

And it's my 10th update! Yay!
I hope picture is not big. In other case sorry...